Sleeping Pills
by The Blonde Midget
Summary: Ryou asks Bakura a question does he care? The answer, however, makes Ryou brake, and he feels like he doesn’t want to live anymore. So, what’s there to do? Our broken angel goes for his last resort...sleeping pills. BxR, slight YYxR and SxJ
1. Chapter 1

Another love-story.

Another pairing.

Another fic by yours sincerely.

Alright, lets cut the crap! I, The Blonde Midget, have written a new fic, and this one is not, hold on to something, a Seto/Jou fic! ...at least not mainly, but the pairing will be mentioned.

No, this one is a Bakura/Anzu pairing!

-loud gasp from the readers-

-eye twitch- ...what the- NO! Ignore the earlier line; This will be a Ryou/Bakura fic!

-sighs of relief from the readers-

Yes, it is my first attempt of Tendershipping, or the Ryou/Bakura pairing! I have been dying to write this fic since I watched a certain episode of Battle City...-sighs- Oh, the wonders of implied slash!

Oh, and for you reading Old Love…-sigh- I am SOOO Sorry that I haven't updated in…what is it now, four months? Gah! But, I am trying really hard right now to write…this story won't make any difference in the speed I write Old Love, because this one is basically done. So, no worries, okay? ;)

Alright, lets just move on! To the fic!

Plot: Ryou asks Bakura a question; does he care? The answer, however, makes Ryou brake, and he feels like he doesn't want to live anymore. So, what's there to do? Our broken angel goes for his last resort...sleeping pills.

Disclaimer: I own nothing! If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh, there would be so much more than implied slash in the series...and Anzu would be dead. Like, totally.

Pairings: Ryou/Bakura, with small mentions of other pairings.

Warnings: A few spoilers from Battle City; not much though. Boy/Boy love, angst and some Anzu bashing. Suicide attempt, and overall darkness. Not a fic for people who easily cries!

Okay, lets get this fic on the road!

Ryou's room 

**21:30**

**Normal POV**

The pale face of the moon reflected through the window of Ryou's room. The sun's pale and cold sister graced the room with its pale rays of light, and ended up on a bed. The covers were white, and neat.

Under the covers of the bed laid Ryou Bakura. The pale boy sighed deeply, and turned over to lie on his back and stare up on the ceiling. White, just like his hair. White wherever he looked.

The brown eyes shone with sadness, and also reflected a few unshed tears. When the eyelids slowly moved down over the eyes, the drops escaped their prison of his eyes, to roll down his cheeks.

Ryou was depressed. And he had been ever since Battle City ended. After that, both his and Yugi's yamis had got their own bodies. (1)

First, he had been very happy over having his body all to himself, and not be imprisoned in the room of his soul. And then he had been even more thrilled that Bakura had gotten his own body so they now could meet face to face. He had hoped that Bakura would change, maybe treat him nicely even!

And he did. For a week or two.

Then, it all changed again. Bakura hadn't changed at all; he was still bringing him down, and didn't see him as anything more than an obstacle and a slave. It was either; 'get out of my way, you worthless piece of crap', or 'Get me something to eat, hikari.' In rare cases, when Ryou got lucky, he would maybe get a 'thanks' after getting something Bakura wanted.

Ryou should hate him.

Then just why did he love him?

Maybe because Bakura had shown that he cared at least a little sometimes. One time, for example, the former tomb robber had saved him from a group of thugs that had wanted to beat him up. And, another time, he had saved him from certain death when he was about to drown in a lake when he and the others had been on a camping trip.

And, Bakura could be nice. Once in a while, the two of them would talk, actually talk, about things. Normally, it was Ryou who talked, and Bakura looked bored. But, Ryou knew that Bakura listened; he could tell from the look in his eyes.

Ryou sighed, and closed his eyes in a faint attempt to block out the thoughts. Why couldn't he just fall asleep and dream happy dreams? Or just sleep without any dreams at all? That was all he wanted to do; sleep and forget about his horrible life. But sleep just wouldn't consume him. Not the smallest trace of drowsiness or fatigue existed within him, not even in the smallest hours of the day...

The loud slam of a door was heard from not too far away, pulling Ryou out if his midnight ponderings.

Ryou sat up when he heard steps in the stairs up to his room. His heart started beating harder when he felt who it was. Unconsciously, he pulled his fingers through his hair, and licked his suddenly dry lips. Anxiousness shone from every part of his body when he stared at the soon to be opened door.

The door opened with a slam, and bright light shone into the room from the opening, only broken slightly by a silhouette in the door opening.

Bakura.

Ryou's heart jumped when the tomb robber walked in and turned on the light before closing the door with an unnecessarily loud slam .

He swallowed. "H-Hi, Bakura." He managed to stammer out.

Bakura simply snorted in reply, before changing into his nightwear. Ryou quickly looked away when Bakura ripped off his shirt and jeans to put on a pair of black silk pants and a black tee. A very pale blush tinted Ryou's cheeks, and he laid down.

Soon, the shuffling of clothes stopped, and then Ryou heard a creak from the bed in the other end of the room, signalling that Bakura had gone to bed. And then, the light went out to leave the two boys in the dark.

"Good night, Bakura." Ryou said softly, and held his breath for a second.

"'Night." Bakura mumbled back, and then there was only silence in the room.

Ryou sighed, and rolled over to his back again. He still couldn't sleep, and that Bakura now was in the same room didn't make it any better...

He needed his sleeping pills.

Ryou silently crept out of his bed, and tiptoed to the door, and opened it silently. Then he walked out and then closed the door just as quietly as he opened it.

Unbeknownst to Ryou, a pair of brown eyes opened in the same moment the door closed. The pair of orbs turned to the closed door, and a deep sigh was heard. "Not again..." Came a low mumble, before the eyes closed again.

With very light steps, careful not to wake Bakura, Ryou went to the bathroom where the heavenly pills were kept. He opened the door, turned on the lights, squinting his eyes slightly at the bright light. His eyes slowly got used to the brightness, and Ryou closed the door behind him. Then he walked up the sink, and looked into the mirror on the cabinet door.

Brown, dull eyes met his own, and he sighed deeply. Faintly, you could spot a pair of dark rings around them, caused by lack of natural sleep and emotional stress. Long, soft looking, silverwhite hair that framed his face in a way that made him look beautiful, according to his friends. Pale, smooth skin without a single scar or unfairness.

"_You look like an angel." _Yami once said, before looking away with a bright blush. Before Ryou could ask about it, his other friends agreed heatedly to Yami's comparison.

Ryou couldn't see how someone, anyone, could refer to him as an angel. He didn't see the same thing others saw in his reflection. All he could see was a broken and ugly person, who didn't deserve to live.

"_A worthless piece of crap."_ Like Bakura said. That was what Ryou saw.

Shaking away those thoughts, Ryou opened the cabinet over the sink, and took the small can with pills. He quickly shook out two of the white pills and put them in his palm. Then he closed the lid of the can and put it back. After taking a deep breath, Ryou swept the pills into his mouth and swallowed with professional quickness. He was getting used to taking those pills.

Ryou were starting to get addicted to those pills; he barely could sleep without them anymore. And it was getting harder and harder to only take two; Ryou was sometimes very tempted to take a few more, and forever sleep...a dreamless sleep...

But he never did. He was too afraid. Too afraid of death, and once more being alone in darkness.

Ryou sighed deeply, and walked back towards the bedroom. Just as silently as he had gone out, he sneaked back into the room, and back into his bed. There, he relaxed under the covers, and sighed contently. Now, he would finally be able to sleep...

Just as he finished that thought, Ryou fell asleep, into a sleep without any dreams.

The next morning, Ryou woke before Bakura, as usual. And, as usual, he got up and got dressed while Bakura snored in the bed. On routine, Ryou took out Bakura's school uniform too, before going down into the kitchen to make breakfast. Or, making breakfast was what he intended to do at first.

Standing in the doorway, he stopped for a moment to look back into the room. His gaze wandered to the bed where Bakura slept. The covers were wrapped around the former tomb robber's body, like a butterfly's cocoon. Deep breaths heaved Bakura's chest up and down in a calm and even way.

Ryou looked at Bakura's face. For once, that face was relaxed, without that constant scowl that seemed to be tattooed to his face. The features were softer than usual too. Ryou fell in love all over again, only by looking at Bakura's sleeping form.

How he wished that he could see Bakura look like that all the time.

Ryou turned away and closed the door behind himself. Wishes were for weaklings. They never came true anyway. If they did, he would either be in Bakura's arms or in heavens fathom.

With a deep sigh, Ryou walked down the stairs to prepare the breakfast.

Ryou were eating his cereals when Bakura stomped down the stairs with his usual scowl on his face. "Good morning, Bakura." Ryou said politely, and gave Bakura a weak smile.

Bakura merely grunted out something remotely close to 'morning', before he started munching on a piece of bread and some cereal.

Not a word to thank him. Well, what could he expect. Bakura didn't do politeness. He expected the food to be there. If it wasn't, then it would be his fault.

Ryou quickly finished his meal, only the small bowl of cereal and milk, and put away the bowl, before glancing back at Bakura. The tomb robber was still eating, and seemed to be half asleep.

Suddenly, Ryou felt like he had to talk to Bakura. He needed to know...how the other felt about him. Was it only hate? Or...something else? He didn't want to be confused about it anymore.

"Bakura?" He said hesitantly, and turned around to face his darker counterpart completely.

"Hn?" Bakura grunted, and glanced up from his cereals. His brown eyes looked dull and uninterested, but deep within them, Ryou could make out a little curiosity.

"M-May I ask you something?" Ryou managed to say, with a very weak voice.

Bakura rose one eyebrow, and then ate another spoon with cereal. "Whatever. Make it quick."

Ryou drew a deep and shaky breath. "Do...Do you remember that night in Battle City? When you duelled against Yugi in the finals, on the blimp? You know, when Marik made you loose your grip over me, when I was too hurt to move?"

"_When I got hurt because both you and Marik beat me up a while before to make it look like I needed to get to the hospital so Marik could gain Yugi's trust? When you two almost killed me?"_ He added silently inside his head. He didn't want to remember that.

"Yeah, so?" Bakura shrugged, and kept eating.

Another deep breath. "Why did you save me? You could have let Slifer attack me instead...and let it kill me..." He swallowed, remembering the pain and fear that he had felt while kneeling on that platform to see the gigantic dragon in front of him, ready to attack.

And then the sharp and familiar tug on his mind that sent him out of his body, to watch Bakura control it and call to Yugi to attack him instead. It was then that he had started to wonder about his feelings for Bakura.

"Yami and Yugi would have attacked eventually...I'm quite sure...and then I probably would have died."

Bakura looked up, seemingly surprised. "Isn't that obvious? I need you, Ryou." Ryou's heart fluttered with hope, and a slight blush crept up to his cheeks.

Then, Bakura spoke again. "Let that midget attack you and kill myself at the same time? I think not. I would be locked into the ring again. At that time, I still needed your body to live on." Ryou's heart dropped like a stone.

"...is that all?" He whispered quietly, forcing out the words.

"Of course!" Bakura said, and looked up again. An eyebrow rose curiously "What else would it have been?"

"...nothing." Ryou mumbled, and turned away to open the crane over the sink. He watched the water run over the items in the sink with blurry eyes, and fought back the tears that threatened to fall.

He heard Bakura rise behind him, and then steps moved to the door. "I'll go to Marik, to catch a ride to school. See you later, hikari." Then, the steps faded and only one minute later, the door slammed.

Ryou sank down next to the counter, and leaned his forehead against his knees. Quickly, almost like a robot, he closed his and Bakura's mindlink. Then he started shaking slightly and tears ran down his cheeks. His whole body convulsed in sobs, as he cried his already broken heart out.

What else could he have expected? That Bakura would tell him that he saved him because he was deeply and passionately in love with him? Like that would ever happen. To Bakura, Ryou was nothing; only a waste of air.

And, if he did mean something, it was only something more for Bakura to control. Something to abuse, to mistreat, to use and to hurt. A slave, nothing more. By God, how Ryou wished that it was different...all he could ever want was to be loved by Bakura. Hell, it would even be enough if the other just cared. Only slight care...

It would mean the world to Ryou.

It took Ryou fifteen minutes to stop crying, and five more minutes to get enough strength to rise from the floor and clean the table.

Slowly, Ryou walked back up the stairs to grab his briefcase before he would walk to school. A walk would surely clear his mind, and maybe lessen his depression.

The bag was put neatly just next to the door, and Ryou took it. Then he walked back towards the stairs. But, just when he was about to walk down the steps, he stopped himself. Something was pulling his gaze towards the bathroom in the end of the corridor. He told himself to keep walking, but an invisible force turned him around, and forced him to walk to the bathroom. There, he opened the cabinet over the sink.

Ryou's brown eyes fell upon the small tin with sleeping pills. There it stood, very innocently, with it's etiquette clearly shown for him.

_Sleeping pills; 50 pieces. Ages 15-20. Kept out of sight and reach for children. Limit; 2 pills/ night. Overdose can cause severe internal damage, or death. _

Ryou watched the tin with almost empty eyes, and licked his lips. Death. It sounded very tempting in that moment. Just take a few too many pills, and fall asleep forever. A dark and comforting darkness...just like the one he got at night. To forever walk in that darkness...to have its comforting shadow around him...no sad thoughts or worries...

A pale hand quickly grabbed the pills, and Ryou shoved the can into his pocket. Not now. He would spare them for later. Then he quickly exited the bathroom to go to school.

Outside, the sun shone brightly, reflecting its beautiful rays in Ryou's equally beautiful eyes. Though, the eyes didn't sparkle of joy, as they usually did when he was walking outside. Now, they looked empty.

Ryou's hand hesitantly sought its way down his pocket, and brushed against the small can with pills. It burned against his skin like fire, and made his heart beat faster. He could escape. In that very moment, he could escape. In his pocket, he carried the salvation to all of his worries.

Slowly, he pulled out the can and read the label again. Severe internal damage, or death. Too bad it didn't say exactly how many pills that was needed. It would be a shame to waste those heavenly pills on someone as useless as himself...

"Ryou! Hey, Ryou, wait for us!" A chirpy voice cried out behind him, and Ryou quickly turned his head and shoved the can down his pocket again.

Running up towards him, was Yugi and Yami. The shorter of them was running first, waving madly, while Yami came after and looked slightly out of breath. Ryou felt his heart twitch painfully. What would Yugi and Yami say if he killed himself? They cared so much about him...

His thoughts were interrupted by something glomping his waist tightly, almost making him fall over. For a moment, he lost his breath, before laughing lightly and hugging Yugi back.

"Hi, Yugi." Ryou looked over the hyper teen's head, and smiled warmly to Yami. "Hello, Yami."

Yami gave him a short nod, and then looked away slightly. "Hi." He mumbled. For a split second you could see a faint hue of red on his cheeks, but it disappeared in the same moment you would think you had seen it.

Yugi pulled away from Ryou, and grinned widely. "How are you, Ryou?"

Ryou's eyes got a sad look, but it disappeared in the next moment. A small smile, that seemed very forced, appeared on his face. "Ah, I'm just fine. And you?"

Yugi smiled even wider. "I feel great! Want to walk with us to school? I- no, _we_, would love it if you came!"

Ryou smiled sweetly, and nodded. "Sure. I'd like that..." "_Especially since it might be the last time I can get the opportunity to walk with you..." _He added sadly inside his head.

The three of them started walking towards school, and Yugi talked happily to Ryou, who smiled and answered politely. Yami, however, walked about two meters behind them, a weird look on his face. He seemed to be glancing at Ryou every once in a while, but tried hard to

hide it. Though, Yugi noticed it immediately. He stole a glance backwards, and then spoke through the mindlink.

((_Yami? Is everything alright?))_

Yami blinked, and gave a mental nod. //_Yes, of course. Why wouldn't it be?//_

((_You're acting weird...why don't you come up and talk to us?))_

Yugi felt a faint tinge of nervousness and astonishment from his darker side, and then a very hard headshake. //_No. I'd rather not.//_

_((Why not? You've never minded walking with me and Ryou earlier...something must be wrong!))_

_//No! Nothing is wrong, alright? I just want to walk alone...//_

_((Too bad. I can see Jou over there. I'll go and greet him, and you'll keep Ryou company.))_ And Yugi closed the mindlink, to run towards the blond boy who walked a few yards ahead.

Ryou smiled at seeing how Yugi flung himself into Jou's arms, happily crying out his name, just as he had done to him. The white haired boy smiled to Yami, who now had walked up to him. "What did Yugi eat for breakfast this morning?"

Yami kept his gaze steadily to his shoes. "Coco-puffs." He mumbled, not breaking his gaze from his shoes.

Ryou laughed lightly, a laugh that sounded like melodic bells of silver in the wind. "I figured it was something with sugar...I mean, all you two ever eat is sugary things, right?"

Yami didn't answer; he just kept staring at his shoes with a hard look on his face.

Ryou turned his head towards Yami at the lack of response from the other. Normally, Yami would make a joke right back at him about how it always was the hikaris who loved such things, and that yamis only ate healthy food.

But, lately, Yami had grown more an more quiet, and laidback. Sure, he wasn't a very talkative guy in the first place, but now he barely said more than two words in a sentence. Ryou missed the way Yami would laugh, make jokes with him and talk to him about everything. It was like a light in the darkness for him.

Ryou's chocolate brown eyes got a worried look in them, and he put a hand on Yami's shoulder, making them both stop. "Yami, are you alright?" He asked worriedly, and tried to catch Yami's gaze. "You seem...troubled."

Yami flinched at the light touch on his shoulder, almost like Ryou had burned him with something hot. Then he sighed. "Why do people keep asking me that? Isn't the answer already obvious, if you all can see it that clearly?" He glanced at Ryou. "No, I am not alright."

Ryou blinked. Then he looked even more worried. "What's wrong?"

Yami looked away. "It's...err...it's complicated. And...Oh, never mind, it wasn't important." He finally said, and started walking again.

Ryou frowned, and grabbed Yami's hand to make him stop again. He didn't notice the way Yami froze, and stiffened from the touch. "It must be important...if it wasn't, then you wouldn't be this troubled. Why don't you just tell me?" He smiled reassuringly. "I can keep a secret."

Yami glanced at him again. "You promise?"

Ryou nodded. "I'll bring it to the grave." "_Literally."_

The former pharaoh sighed. "Well...a friend of mine has a problem-"

Ryou interrupted him. "You mean, _you_ have a problem. Seriously, Yami, those things never works."

Yami glared, and then continued. "Fine, _I_ have a problem...you see, I...I'm...in love with someone..." With that said, Yami's cheeks coloured a deep scarlet.

Ryou blinked, and then smiled brightly. "That's great!"

Yami shook his head, and looked away. "No. Because the person doesn't like me...he likes someone else." The red eyes of Yami darkened. "I envy that man with all of my heart...and I hate him with every essence of my soul."

Ryou blinked. He had never heard Yami talk like that. And he had never seen such a look in Yami's eyes; a look of pure hate and anger.

He put a soothing hand on Yami's shoulder. "Calm down, Yami. How do you know that the person you like is in love with someone else?"

Yami sighed, and stared down at his shoes. "I can tell. Every time he looks at him, his eyes starts to shine, and he smiles. Within seconds, he just looks so happy." A tear slipped down Yami's cheek. "And it's so unfair! That man doesn't deserve his love! All he does is hurting the one I love, by not even caring about him. And I see how much it hurts...but no one else does. I just...it...I just wish that I could make him feel better..."

Ryou smiled softly. "Why don't you tell him how you feel then? It maybe would make him happy..."

"Because it wouldn't make a difference. And...if he truly loves that other guy...I don't want to come in the way. He deserves all happiness in the world...even if he gets it with someone else but me." Yami's eyes looked sad, and he stared down at his shoes.

Ryou was quiet for a second. Then he wrapped his arms around Yami's neck, and held him close. "Anyone would be lucky to have you as his or hers boyfriend, Yami. I don't know anyone else that would make such a sacrifice for the one they love." He pulled away again, and smiled brightly. "I hope that you will be together with the one you love. You deserve it."

Yami's cheeks carried a small blush, and he stared down at Ryou who still held his arms lightly around his neck. "Ryou...I..."

"Guys! Come on, we're gonna be late for school!" Yugi screamed ahead of them, and started dragging Jou towards the school building while looking at them over his shoulder.

"We're coming!" Ryou shouted back, and turned back to Yami. "Come on, lets go."

Yami shook his head, and carefully moved away Ryou's arms from his neck. "You...you go before me. I want to be alone for a while...and think."

Ryou blinked, and then nodded back with a smile. "Sure. But don't be late." And then, Ryou ran after Yugi to walk with him and Jou.

Yami followed him with his gaze for a while, and then sighed. "I love you, Ryou." He said quietly, and walked slowly after the other three.

End chapter

(1) Okay, I know that didn't happen, but just pretend that it happened, okay?

Yup, that's the first chapter!

Well...did you like it? I hope so...I enjoyed writing it anywho.

Ah, and if you know which episode I was talking about that inspired this story, tell me so! Because, I must know if it was just me, or was Bakura really worried about Ryou? It looked like it...well, tell me if you saw it! And what you thought of the implied slash...

Now, do me a favour, you wonderful people! Review and tell me what you thought! I love long reviews, and constructive things. But, save me the flames. They are just unnecessary. If you dislike the story, just ignore reviewing to save you and me some time. For the rest of you…REVIEW:D

Love you all heaps!

-The Blonde Midget


	2. Chapter 2

Hii! 

Well, seeing that people seemed to like the story, I decided to update today! (and, well, it's raining outside, and I've been bored to death all day… )

Well, I will not keep you waiting…read and enjoy, people, and PLEASE give me a review! Makes me happy and puts me in updating mood! ;) 

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or it's characters. If I did, you can bet that there would be TONS of yummy yaoi and lots of puppyshipping in it! So, err…vote me as Yu-Gi-Oh's next owner? ;;;;;

Pairings: Mainly Bakura/Ryou, but some pretty onesided Yami/Ryou, and one tiny hint of Seto/Jou.

Warnings: AAANGST! XD You will choke on it…yeah, this is such a typical Tendershipping fic…--;;;

Well, read and enjoy people!

**Chapter 2**

Jou, Yugi and Ryou entered the building quickly, and headed for their lockers. "Jou and I have maths first lesson..." Yugi said while pulling out his books. "What about you, Ryou?"

Before Ryou could answer, Jou groaned. "Oh, man! Not _math_! I hate those numbers...they confuse me..."

Yugi giggled. "Or is it the fact that _Seto-kun_ sits next to you that makes you so confused and unfocused?"

Jou blushed, and looked away. It was a well known fact to the group that he had a crush on the CEO of Kaiba corporation, and everyone in the gang found time to tease him for it. Especially since Seto seemed to understand what was going on as well and had joined the teasing, aka; flirting with Jou to see him blush. (and BOY did he blush!)

"S-Shut up! It's nothin' like tha'...damn moneyba-I mean numbers!" Coughing, Jou leaned into his locker to pull out his books. "What about you, Ry?"

Ryou, however, didn't answer. He was staring into his neatly cleaned locker, with a blank look on his face. The tin with pills in his pocket was weighing him down, and made him feel like he was about to fall. A tear slowly escaped his left eye. Those pills were so close...but yet so far away...

Yugi and Jou turned to look at Ryou when they didn't receive an answer. They both frowned at the dazed look on Ryou's face, and looked worried.

"Ryou?" Yugi said hesitantly, amethyst eyes glowing in a wondering manner.

Ryou didn't hear him; his mind was too occupied with the pills in his pocket, and what he would do today. "_I could go right now...and put an end to it immediately..."_

Jou frowned deeper, and put a hand on Ryou's shoulder. "Ryou! You in there, man?"

Ryou flinched, and quickly turned his head to Jou. "Huh? Y-You guys said something?" In his eyes, you could see the same hunted look as a deer's in headlights.

Yugi leaned his head curiously to the side. "Is something wrong, Ryou? You're acting...weird." He suddenly gasped when he saw the tear that ran down Ryou's cheek. "Are you crying?!"

Ryou shook his head, and laughed softly. "No. Everything is fine, don't worry." A flash of sadness was to be seen in his eyes for a second. But it disappeared before either Jou or Yugi could spot it, and Ryou quickly dried away the tear on his cheek.

Jou frowned. "You sure, man? You seem a bit...off."

Ryou shook his head again. "I'm fine."

"But, Ryou..."

"I said; I'm fine!" Ryou snapped, and slammed his locker shut. In his eyes, you could see anger and another feeling flare.

Both Yugi and Jou took one step backwards. "Alright! Geez, man...easy." Jou mumbled, and made a weak smile.

Ryou sighed, and leaned against the lockers. "Sorry, guys. I just...haven't slept so well lately." He smiled, almost looking like himself again. "I hope I haven't worried you..."

Yugi smiled back, and hugged Ryou around the waist. "No worries, Ryou! I hope that you'll get some sleep later. It's the week-end tomorrow anyways!"

Jou nodded to that. "Yup! And then we'll just be able to relax...maybe catch that new movie?"

"That would be great!" Yugi chirped. "Right, Ryou?"

"Yes...very." Ryou said, and tried to sound enthusiastic. "_But I won't be able to come..." _

The three boys started walking to the lesson, Jou and Yugi discussing the new movie, and Ryou walking quietly along, clutching his books close to his chest. It was a wonder that he didn't bump into anything, seeing how empty his eyes were, like a blind man's.

Ryou didn't hear when a small clink was heard behind him, and then a small sound of something rolling away. Jou, however heard and saw it at once. "What the hell..." He said, and picked it up. He had seen it fall out of Ryou's pocket.

It was a small can of sleeping pills.

"Yo, Ryou? These yours, man?" He asked, and held them out to Ryou.

Ryou flinched, and stared at the pills. He then nodded slowly, and took them from Jou.

"Yes. Thank you." His voice was very low, and he didn't look Jou in the eye when he took the pills. Staring at the tin, Ryou's eyes turned a shade darker, like a curtain had been pulled down.

Jou frowned. "Dude, why do ya bring sleeping pills to school? It's not like it's not easy to fall asleep on the lessons anyway..."

Ryou swallowed heavily, and shoved the pills back into his pocket. Cold sweat was running down his neck, and he tried to think of an excuse.

"I...err..." Then, a defensive part of him took over. "That's none of your business!" He cried out, and glared at Jou.

Both Jou and Yugi stared at him. Ryou never yelled at anyone. And now he did it two times on one day! Something had to be wrong.

"Ryou, take it easy. Jou just asked..." Yugi begun, but Ryou interrupted him.

"Well, it's still none of your business! Why I take sleeping pills is my own problem, and...and...just leave me alone, damnit!" And with that, Ryou stomped away towards his classroom in the opposite direction.

Yugi and Jou looked at each other. "What's the matter with Ryou today?" Yugi said worriedly, his violet eyes glowing with worry.

"Don' know." Jou muttered, and started walking towards the homeroom. "Maybe he's just tired. I'm sure he'll be fine next lesson."

"Who will?" Came suddenly a voice behind them, and the two boys turned around. Yami stood behind them, with books in his hand, and a risen eyebrow.

Jou sighed. "Ryou. Ya wouldn' believe the way he just acted..."

Yami frowned a little. "What did he do?"

"Well..."

Jou explained the things Ryou had said and done. When he got to the sleeping pills, Yami immediately looked worried. "He brought sleeping pills with him to school? Why would he do that?"

Jou shrugged. "I have no idea." Then he lit up. "Wait, we can ask Bakura! They live together, so he must know why Ryou would do tha'!"

At the mention of Bakura's name, Yami's face darkened. "Oh. Bakura."

Yugi frowned slightly, and sighed. "Yami, why can't you leave that to the past? It was millennia's ago you two were enemies, why can't you two drop it?"

"It's not that." Yami muttered, and looked away. "The past doesn't matter anymore, I agree. It's the present that is the problem."

"Huh?" The two boys stared at him, and blinked confusedly.

"Oh, never mind." Yami muttered, and walked into the classroom. "You wouldn't understand..." He said quietly to himself.

-----

Bakura sat in his seat in the farthest back, leaning his chair backwards, looking very bored. When the three boys reached up to his desk, he looked up slowly. A smug smirk came to his lips. "Well, well, well...if it isn't my dear...ah, what is it Ryou calls it...friends?"

Yami scowled, and simply glared at the former Tomb Robber. "Shut up. We want to ask you something."

Bakura's smirk widened. "How am I supposed to answer any questions when you tell me to shut up, pharaoh?"

Yami's eyes darkened, and he was about to shoot back a retort, but Yugi put his hand over his mouth. "Yami, shut up." The smaller boy mumbled, and then turned to Bakura. "Bakura...uh...this may sound weird but...would Ryou by any chance bring sleeping pills to school?"

Bakura blinked. "Sleeping pills?" The dark brown eyes suddenly narrowed. "He brought that junk to school?"

Jou and Yugi looked at each other. "Uh...is there somethin' we should know about...?"

The white haired Egyptian sighed. "Ryou sometimes has a hard time falling asleep, for unknown reasons. So, he sometimes takes sleeping pills before going to sleep." Bakura frowned. "But I have no idea why he would bring them to school." For a split second you could spot worry in his eyes, but it disappeared the same second one would think you saw it.

"Maybe you should look after him a bit better, Bakura." Yami hissed, and glared. "Then you maybe would know a few more things about him."

Yugi and Jou stared at Yami. It was not usual for Yami to have those outbursts of anger. Actually, it never happened. He was always the calm and collected one.

Bakura lazily turned his gaze to Yami, and glared back. "Well, if you're so worried, then keep an eye on him yourself, why don't you?" A smirk once again erupted on his lips. The smirk seemed quite forced, though. "Or...maybe you already are."

"What do you mean?" Yami's eyes suddenly got a defensive look.

Bakura's eyes darkened. _"You think I haven't noticed, Yami? It is very obvious, the way you stare at Ryou with those longing eyes of yours. It's pathetic." _This, Bakura said in Egyptian, wanting it to be a little bit more private.

A pale blush came to Yami's cheeks, and he glared harder at Bakura. "Watch your mouth, Bakura. Or I'll have to glue it shut for you." Yami snapped, not in Egyptian however. He didn't want it to seem like a huge thing. Just some insults, like it always was.

Bakura rose from his seat, and walked a bit closer to Yami. Stopping when they were nose to nose, he spoke again. In Egyptian. _"Well, Yami. You better not try anything. Ryou is my hikari. Mine. And I will not let a measly pharaoh snatch him away from me." _

Yami blinked and then scowled. Then he grabbed the front of Bakura's shirt. Now, he too spoke in Egyptian. _"Try to stop me then, tomb robber. I always win, as you know. Either it is in games, or real life." _Yami smirked. _"You are always the looser against me, Bakura." _

Bakura blinked. "Oh, you're going down." With that, Bakura jumped for Yami's throat.

Meanwhile, Ryou sat in his seat in English. The students around him all talked and laughed. But Ryou simply sat in his seat, hands folded neatly in his lap. The brown eyes were dark with sadness, and half-closed due to tiredness. But not regular fatigue.

They were filled with tiredness for life.

The sleeping pills seemed to be heavier than its 400 milligrams. It felt more like 400 tons. It wasn't a physical weight; it was a weight on his mind. And he wasn't sure for how long he'd be able to hold it up.

"Ryou Bakura?"

The white haired boy flinched, and snapped his head up. "Huh?"

The teacher, Mr Nagashi, gave him a weird look, and coughed slightly. "Good thing that you woke up, Mr Bakura. Nice to have you with us."

Ryou blushed slightly, as the other students laughed. "Sorry, Mr Nagashi. It won't happen again."

The teacher gave him another weird look, before returning to his papers to call out the rest of the names.

Ryou sighed, and sank down in his seat again. The following minutes passed in a blur, and before he knew it, the lesson was over. Numbly, Ryou rose from his seat, and walked towards his locker again.

Ryou opened his locker, and started rummaging around for his History book. As if the day wasn't bad enough already. Now he had to go through History too. The most boring subject on the face of the earth!

"_Well, soon I won't have to take that either..."_ Ryou sadly said to himself, and sighed.

The door of his locker slammed shut right before his nose, and Ryou jumped high. Quickly, he turned his head to his right to see the cause of why the locker suddenly closed.

It was the cause of his sadness; Bakura. The white-haired tomb robber looked furious, and was glaring as hard as he possibly could.

But, Ryou didn't notice that. He just stared at a large bruise on Bakura's cheek, and then saw another one on his neck. A frown of worry reached Ryou's forehead. "What happened to you?" Ryou asked worriedly, and reached out to touch the wounded skin.

Bakura grabbed the hand before it reached its destination, and then slammed Ryou up against the row of lockers. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He hissed, and glared even more at Ryou. His hands held Ryou's shoulders so tight that they almost broke.

Ryou whimpered at the pain that filled him, and tried to shift away from the handles that were pressed into his back. "B-Bakura, you're hurting me..."

A fist slammed into the locker, just next to his head, and Ryou yelped. "I know that you brought those Ra damned pills to school, Ryou." Bakura hissed, face only a few inches from Ryou's terrified eyes.

Ryou's heart froze, and he stared at Bakura with his mouth slightly open. He knew? "...how do you know..." He whispered, shaking slightly under the penetrating gaze.

The former tomb robber snorted. "Your friends told me about it. Not that it matters really. Give me those pills."

Ryou's eyes widened, and then darkened a little. They told Bakura? Why couldn't they just trust him with that everything was fine?! Well, it wasn't, but still. If he wanted them to know about it, he would tell them. They had no right...

Bakura slammed Ryou against the lockers again, interrupting his thoughts. "You deaf or something?! Give me those fucking pills!" The brown eyes were close to black, and sent lethal lightning at Ryou.

Then, something within Ryou burst. It was like a wave of anger and despair had been released within him, and coursed through his entire being. Everything within him, pent up emotions and feelings, bubbled up to the surface. Suddenly, he felt like he couldn't take it anymore; Bakura pushing him around. He would show him...

Ryou put his hands on Bakura's chest, and shoved him away from him. "Leave me alone!" He yelled, causing some students to turn towards them. "If I want to keep those pills, I will bloody well keep them! Keep your nose out of my business, tomb robber, like I've always kept mine out of yours!" Ryou quickly closed his mouth, a look of fear entering his eyes.

What had he done? Yelled at Bakura, and insulted him too! There was no way that Bakura would let that pass.

Bakura blinked once. Then twice. That was all time he needed to recover. He grabbed Ryou's shoulders again, and slammed him up against the lockers harder than before. His entire body quivered with anger, and Ryou felt his fear grow stronger as the grip on his shoulders became almost unbearable.

"How dare you, you worthless piece of shit?!" He growled, glaring into Ryou's eyes. "How dare you to speak to me in that way?!" Without being able to control himself, Bakura slapped Ryou harshly in the cheek, not once, but twice in each cheek.

Ryou flinched, for the slaps, but also at hearing Bakura calling him worthless. It wasn't like he hadn't heard it before, but...

...this time, Bakura really seemed to mean it.

Tears filled Ryou's eyes, not only caused by the pain from his back and cheeks. "If you really hate me that much, Bakura, then just kill me." He whispered, and closed his eyes. "I know that you've always wanted to get rid of me. I won't stop you."

Bakura blinked, and stared at Ryou. Then he let go of the shaking boy, his face completely void of emotion. "I wouldn't waste my time with killing someone as useless as you." He said coldly, and then walked away.

Ryou sobbed softly, and sank to the floor. His legs had no strength left, and collapsed when he was no longer supported by Bakura's hands. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks, and he bowed down his head so no one would spot the clear liquid made of pure despair.

Those words had cut into the depths of his soul, and caused wounds that were beyond any repair. Hearing those sentences from Bakura; to really hear how much the other hated him...it broke him. Ryou couldn't take it anymore. Wouldn't take it anymore.

Looking up, Ryou stared at the wall opposite him with empty eyes. His normally brown and emotional eyes were now black, and void of any emotions. It would have brought sadness to anyone to see into those depths of despair, and no one would have been unaffected.

Not even someone as cold as Bakura.

**End Chapter**

One word. ANGST!

Sorry that this turned out completely angsty and Ryou-being-depressed and whatnot. And waay short. –sigh- Ah well…please send me a review and tell me what you guys thought!

With Love.

-The Blonde Midget


	3. Chapter 3

Augh, sorry…this took some time, didn't it? -- Well, I would give you a grand explanation to why this took such time, but…well, I don't have one except that the Swedish summer is really depressing.

Thanks to all of you who reviewed last chapter…you know who you are, and you know that you are all so very awesome!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or it's characters. I'm currently having a chat with Santa about it.

Pairings: Bakura/Ryou, slight Yami/Ryou and Seto/Jou

Warnings: ANGST! –ahem- Attempted suicide, and a part not for people with sensitive stomachs.

/_Blah./_ Ryou talking to Bakura via mindlink.

//_BLAH!// _Bakura talking to Ryou via mindlink.

Okay then…read the chapter people, and PLEASE leave me a review!

**Chapter 3**

Ryou was the last one to enter the History classroom. Just after he passed the threshold, the last bell rang.

Everyone stared at him. Ryou had never been the last one to enter class. Ever. He was always the perfect student, and never late. It would take a broken leg and a few earthquakes to stop him to get to class in time.

Without looking up at anyone, Ryou walked to his lone desk and sat down. His back was straight, and his hands were folded neatly in his lap. His head was bent down slightly, causing his long hair to fall in a way over his face that it shadowed his eyes and the area around them. And that just caused the curiosity to rise; what was it that Ryou was hiding?

Yugi and Jou looked worriedly at each other, at seeing how utterly devastated Ryou looked. Something had happened. And they needed to find out what. But they would have to wait for the class to end first...

Yami looked straight at Ryou, frowning slightly. His eyes expressed deep worry, and concern.

What was the matter with Ryou? The usually happy and smiling boy who always would laugh and always had a smile to spare. Now he seemed sad, like the whole world's troubles and worries rested on his thin shoulders...

Suspiciously, Yami's gaze turned to Bakura who sat only two seats away from Ryou.

Bakura was also glancing at Ryou. But not with worry. No, he looked completely emotionless, and uncaring. Hn. What could Yami have expected from him anyway? Of course Bakura didn't care. He never did.

Everyone soon turned their attention to the teacher, who started to talk about the world war two. Her monotonous voice brought almost everyone to complete bore, and students stared at her with glazed eyes and half open mouths.

Yami, however, kept his gaze steadily on Ryou, and Ryou kept his gaze sternly down into his lap.

Half through the lesson, Ryou slowly looked up to the clock on the wall. When he did, Yami gasped, his eyes growing twice as large.

On Ryou's cheeks, you could clearly spot dried tears. Also, there were long, red marks on his cheeks, slowly turning purple. But it was the empty look in his eyes that made Yami gasp like that. Never, in those millennia's he had lived, had Yami seen such an expression. In those orbs, there were no emotion. Only deep and pure nothingness.

In the next minute, Ryou rose his hand, looking straight ahead of himself.

It took the teacher a few minutes to realize that someone was actually rising their hand. It must have been a great shock for her to learn that someone actually still was awake. "Uh...yes, Mr. Bakura?"

"Can I go to the bathroom?" Ryou said, so softly that you would almost think that it was the

wind blowing through the classroom rather than someone speaking.

There were creaks in all chairs when the whole class turned to stare at Ryou. Never, in a million years, had Ryou asked to go to the bathroom in the middle of class. He would always wait to end of class, even though he was almost wetting his pants.

The old woman by the board slowly nodded. "W-Well...of course. Go on..."

"Thank you." Ryou rose, and walked towards the door of the classroom, eyes following him all the way. When he passed Bakura's desk, he glanced at the Tomb robber for a second, their eyes meeting for a moment, before he quickly brushed by and out of the classroom.

Silence filled the classroom, before the teacher started talking again. "Well, now that that's over...Hitler then attacked Poland..."

Ryou quickly walked through the corridors, heading for the nearest bathroom. His mind was empty, and only focused on one thing. Namely, the item in his pocket. It loosely hit his hip with every step he took, and he unconsciously breathed faster the closer he got to his destination.

Slamming the door after himself, Ryou rushed into the bathroom. Quickly, he started looking in the booths to see if anyone were in there. Sighing relived, when he found that they were all empty, he walked up to the sinks. There, he stopped to look at himself in the mirror.

His cheek was still red from the slap he had received from Bakura, and he closed his eyes tightly. Well, he would finally make Bakura happy. Finally, he would do something that would please the one he loved.

It hurt to know that it was his own death that would make Bakura happy. But, if it did make him happy...then Ryou would do it. Anything for the one he loved.

Slowly, Ryou brought up the small can with pills. He held them before his eyes, and watched it. Again, he read the label.

_Sleeping pills; 50 pieces. Ages 15-20. Kept out of sight and reach for children. Limit; 2 pills/ night. Overdose can cause severe internal damage, or death. _

Death.

That was what he wanted.

'Cause, really; Who would miss him?

Yugi? Well, of course he would miss him. And so would Yami. And Jou. And Honda. Maybe even Anzu. Malik would too. And Marik, now matter how crazy he happened to be.

But, Bakura?

Ryou gave a short and sarcastic laugh. Yeah, right. Someone who didn't even bother to kill him to get rid of him. Bakura wouldn't miss him. At all.

Ryou would miss him though.

With a small pop, Ryou took of the lid on the tin. White pills met his gaze, just lying there all innocently. Tempting him.

Slowly, Ryou shook out two of the pills on his palm. He watched them quietly. A slight tinge of hesitation sneaked into his mind. It was now or never. If he took those pills, he would die. No going back. It would all end. His miserable life would come to an end.

Shaking away the hesitation, Ryou popped the pills into his mouth, swung his neck backwards and swallowed. He felt the pills go down his dry throat, and fall into his empty stomach. Shivering with delight, Ryou poured out two more pills. Without hesitation, he popped them in, and swallowed them. Two more followed the former, then two more, and two more...

Ryou lost count on how many he took after the six first. He would have swallowed all the pills in the can if the world hadn't decided to start spinning faster all of a sudden.

Ryou's legs started shaking, and he leaned against the wall for support. None was given, and he soon slid down the wall to sit on the floor. His whole body was shivering, although he felt a hundred degrees hot. The cool tile of the wall soothed his burning skin, and he relaxed against it.

Calm. He felt so very calm. It felt like he would fall asleep any minute. The world seemed to darken slightly, and grew fuzzy in the edges. A wonderful feeling really. Waves of calm and content washed over him, and he blinked slowly.

A small smile formed on his lips. It was a genuinely happy smile, which didn't fit at all thinking about what was happening to him.

Ryou suddenly found that it grew harder to breath, and that his heart had to work harder to beat. His chest started to hurt a bit, and his head started to feel heavier. His lungs started to ache, and it felt like there was no oxygen in the small bathroom. Then his body started to quiver, even though he wasn't cold. But he didn't care. It would be over soon.

Relaxing even more, Ryou slid all the way down the wall to lay on the floor. But he didn't feel it. He let go of all emotional blocks in his mind, being too tired to keep them up. He smiled once more.

/_I love you, Bakura...I hope you'll be happy.../_ He said quietly through the mindlink, before falling into complete, welcoming darkness.

----

----

Bakura stared out in front of himself, being very bored with the teacher's speech about the world war two. He glanced at the clock. It wasn't much left of the lesson. Luckily. Like he didn't have better things to do that sitting in a dusty classroom...

He frowned. Where was Ryou? He hadn't come back from the bathroom yet, and it had been ten minutes since he left. Ryou never remained long in bathrooms. What if something had happened to him...

Bakura shook his head slightly, shaking off his worry. Ryou was fine. Probably just crying in the bathroom over some stupid matter. Stupid, weak, worthless Ryou...

A wave of emotion suddenly hit Bakura's mind like a tsunami, and he blinked hard. Emotions like sadness, depression and hopelessness. But also...complete serenity, calmness and relaxation. And...love?

Ryou's soft and quiet voice spoke in his mind. /_I love you, Bakura...I hope that you'll be happy.../_

Then he felt nothing. Ryou's side of the mindlink disappeared. Not behind a block where he could still sense it. It disappeared completely. Within Bakura's mind, there was a large hole of nothingness.

Bakura stared out in front of himself. Ryou's mind was gone? It...it couldn't happen, just like that. Sure, if Ryou wanted to, he could hide his mind for Bakura. But not completely, not like this. The only way that something like this could happen was...it would only disappear completely if...Ryou...

The realisation hit him like a giant brick.

"Shit!" Bakura yelled, rising so quickly that the chair fell behind him. His eyes were wide with surprise and horror. Quickly, he reached out for Ryou's mind again, in hope of have been mistaken.

Nothing. It wasn't there. Bakura's heart clenched when he realised what that must have happened.

Fuck.

"Bakura?" The teacher, along with the whole class, stared at him, blinking. Her thin lips then pressed together sourly in a thin line, and her eyes sent lightning towards Bakura. "What are you doing, interrupting like that in the middle of class?! Who do you think-"

"Fuck off!" Bakura yelled, and glared harshly at the woman. Then he ran to the door, slammed it open, and disappeared out in the corridor.

"Bakura!" The old woman croaked. Then she sighed, and rubbed her temples. "Yami, would you be so kind and fetch Bakura? I'm not in the mood."

"Sure." Yami rose too, and disappeared out in the same direction as Bakura.

Bakura ran through the corridors, his heart beating so hard in his chest that it felt like it would jump out of his chest. "Please, be alright..." Bakura whispered fearfully, while sprinting the last yards to the closest bathroom. With one sharp tug, he slammed the door opened.

His eyes widened at what he saw.

Laying on the white floor, was Ryou. He was laying just next to the wall, his face turned towards it. His whole body was relaxed, and didn't move. Bakura relaxed slightly. Maybe Ryou had only fainted. Ryou had low blood pressure, and could faint at any time, and often did. Yeah, that was probably it...

That theory was shattered immediately when Bakura realised something that was horrifyingly wrong with his theory.

Ryou wasn't breathing.

Bakura was by Ryou's side with one giant leap, and fell to his knees next to him. "Ryou!" He screamed, and lifted the limp boy up into his arms. Then, he got to see his face.

Ryou was even paler than usual, and his lips were close to white. Eyes closed in a relaxed way, one could almost think that he was asleep. But Bakura knew that he wasn't. To Bakura's utmost horror, there was a small smile on Ryou's lips. Frighteningly happy and peaceful...

Bakura looked at Ryou's hand. In it, he saw the pill can. His eyes widened.

Ryou had planned this.

And Bakura had never seen it coming.

With his heart racing, Bakura lifted Ryou's chest up to his ear to listen for a heartbeat. He didn't hear anything. Then he put two fingers on Ryou's cold throat, to feel for a pulls. First there was nothing, and Bakura felt his hope falling.

Then, a small twitch in his fingers. First, Bakura thought he had imagined it, but then he felt it again, and again in a steady rhythm. Not all hope was out.

"Damn you, Ryou..." Bakura mumbled, and put him down on the floor again. "If you die, I promise I will kill you."

Not once thinking about how stupid his statement had been, he bent down over Ryou's face. Gently, he held Ryou's nose, and, after taking a deep breath, he blew air into Ryou's mouth. Ryou's chest rose, and fell. It didn't rise again.

Bakura repeated his actions, watching Ryou's chest rise, only to fall again. After repeating this several times, he finally managed to get the chest to rise and fall on its own accord. Bakura sighed relieved, and lifted Ryou up into his arms again. Now, he had to get help. The breathing he had constructed wouldn't hold for long. But, he didn't want to leave Ryou...

"Bakura? You in here?" The door opened behind him. "I swear, the teacher is going to kill you for..." Yami interrupted himself. His gaze met Bakura's, and then it wandered to Ryou in the tomb robber's arms. The red eyes widened, and he gasped. "R-Ryou?"

"Yami, listen." Bakura growled, and nodded to Ryou. "Ryou needs help. Go call an ambulance. Tell them to get here quick, we don't have much time."

Yami nodded, but he didn't leave. No, his eyes went dazed, and he stood quiet for a few seconds. Then he blinked, and nodded. "Yugi is calling them right as we speak."

Bakura nodded, and lifted Ryou up. The boy was surprisingly light, and Bakura frowned. If Ryou survived this, he would make sure that he ate much more. Then, he grabbed the small tin in Ryou's loosely closed hand, and threw it to Yami.

"Count the pills. There's supposed to be twenty of them left in there."

Yami blinked, and looked wonderingly at Bakura. "How do you know there's twenty left? It says 50 pills on this. How do you know the exact number of pills?"

Bakura looked down at Ryou. A tense look was to be seen in his eyes. "I count them every time Ryou takes them. To make sure that he never takes more than two." He looked up at Yami, glaring harshly. "So you should be careful with what you say, pharaoh. I do watch Ryou carefully, as often as I can. I don't want him to die, or get hurt. Got that?" Yami nodded numbly. "Good. Then, count those pills."

Yami poured out the remaining pills onto his palm, and counted them silently. His eyes widened. "Bakura? You said there's supposed to be twenty left?"

"Yes."

"...there's only six left."

"What?!" Bakura stared at him, suddenly turning pale. "Six?"

Yami nodded numbly. And, there were only six pills in Yami's hand. And that meant...

Bakura's eyes darkened, and he glared at Ryou. "You took _fourteen_ of those fucking pills? Ra, you are so stupid sometimes, Ryou!" The tomb robber yelled to the unconscious boy in his arms. Then he turned quickly to rip open one of the doors to a toilet booth. "We don't have time to wait for the doctors."

"Huh?" Yami stared at Bakura. "What are you doing?"

"Something Ryou's doctor taught me." Bakura sat Ryou down in front of one of the toilets, and held his head over the water. Then he gently held Ryou's head in one hand, and opened the other's mouth with his other. Taking a deep breath, Bakura put two of his fingers in the back of Ryou's throat.

Ryou's body convulsed, Bakura steadied it and felt the muscles in Ryou's stomach constrict, and he silently threw up, due to the body's natural reaction to the intrusion. A white and yellowish goo ran out from Ryou's mouth, and dripped into the faucet.

Yami immediately got worried. "Bakura! You're hurting..."

"I'm getting rid of the pills." Bakura snapped, and thrust his fingers into Ryou's throat again to force up some more goo. "It has to be done. The lesser the body dissolves, the lesser the damage."

Yami hesitated. Then he nodded, and let Bakura continue. But he winced every time he heard the small sounds of gagging from Ryou, and saw the way his entire body arched into Bakura's in obvious discomfort...

"Yami, go and see if the ambulance personal is here yet." Bakura calmly said, between two gags. He didn't need a nervous and worried pharaoh hanging around so close by while he did this. It was better for Yami to get out of the way so he wouldn't do something stupid.

"Okay." Yami disappeared out the door, and looked down the corridor worriedly.

Bakura sighed when nothing more came up from Ryou's stomach. That was all he could do for now. No use in continuing doing that seeing that it wouldn't help. He heaved Ryou up into his arms again, holding one arm under his knees, and one arm behind his back. Then he walked out of the booth.

"Lets bring him outside, so the doctors doesn't have to search through the whole school for us."

Yami nodded, and followed Bakura out into the corridor. It was still empty around them, as they quickly made their way out.

Glancing at Ryou, Yami sighed. By Ra, he was worried. Well, he did love Ryou, so it was natural that he was worried.

Then, he glanced at Bakura. The tomb robber was also watching Ryou, with a lot of worry in his dark eyes. But also care and devotion were to be seen, and even...was that...love?

Bakura also loved Ryou? Yami closed his eyes momentarily. Before, it was so easy to hate him, when Yami was sure that Bakura didn't care at all about Ryou. But now...for once, Bakura seemed like a good person to Yami. If he really did love Ryou as much as Yami did, he couldn't be such a bad guy.

And he was the one Ryou loved. The one Ryou craved and needed. The one who really deserved Ryou's love.

Yami glanced at Bakura again, and then smiled momentarily. He hoped that Bakura would make Ryou happy. If he didn't, Yami would kill him.

Reaching to the door, Bakura kicked it open and walked out. In the same minute the two boys walked out on the steps of the school, they heard the sirens. Then the ambulance drove up the street, stopping right in front of them. Two meds jumped out, and quickly took out a stretcher.

"Is this the boy?" One of the men asked quickly, pointing to Ryou.

"Yes." Bakura nodded quickly, and put Ryou down on the stretcher.

The man nodded, and the two doctors carried the unmoving Ryou into the back of the ambulance where another doctor, a female one, sat.

"What happened?" One of the males asked Bakura, assuming that he was an older brother or some kind of relative.

Bakura's eyes darkened. "He tried to commit suicide. With these." He took the pills from Yami, and gave them to the doctor. "He took fourteen of them."

"Fourteen?" The doctor said, staring at Bakura. Then he looked down to the pills, and read the label. "Well, luckily these aren't too strong. Good thing you found him so quickly. We'll bring him to the hospital now."

"I'm coming with you." Bakura said immediately.

The young doctor shook his head, and put the pills into his pocket. "Sorry, kid. You should stay in school with the rest of your class and-"

"I said; I'm coming with you." Bakura said once more, and glared at the doctor. In his voice, you could hear a final tone, that could take no resistance.

After glaring at the other man for a while, he turned away. "Fine. Jump into the back with Jade then. Just don't be in the way."

Bakura smirked. "Thank you." Then he jumped into the back of the ambulance, the doors closing behind him in the next second. The next second, the engine of the ambulance started, and the white car drove off. The sirens rang in Yami's ears for a few more minutes, until he sighed to walk back into the school building.

"You'd better take care of Ryou, Bakura." He mumbled as he walked up the stairs. "If you don't, I'll make you sorry."

**End Chapter!**

Oh, the suspense! Will Ryou survive? Is Bakura ever going to admit his true feelings? WILL THE SKY FALL?! …err…okay, so you won't get the answer to the last question in the next chapter, but for the other two, sure!

Yeah…so, I don't know if making someone throw up will actually help when they've got an overdose…I'm just guessing. So…yeah…I'm no doctor, okay?!

Well then. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!

…so…see that little purple-ish button on the bottom of the page? Yeah, that one. Push it, and tell me all your thoughts of this chapter!

-The Blonde Midget

P.S: Push iiiiit….-points to button and pouts-


	4. Chapter 4

Hullu:D 

Okay then…this will be the last chapter of this story! Yes, might be a little bit short, but I was never intending on making this story very long…so yeah, hope you'll enjoy this last chapter of my oh so angsty story!

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Yu-Gi-Oh yet. Still having eager discussions with Santa about it, though.

Pairings: Bakura/Ryou only in this chapter.

Warnings: ANGST! Yup, that is all.

So yeah. Happy reading to all of you! See you at the end notes!

**Chapter 4**

Steady beeps echoed in his head. They were very soft, however, and didn't disturb him much.

Everything else was silent, and there was only darkness around him. He felt so calm and safe. For once, he felt safe. No thoughts interrupted him, no feelings were in the way. He could sleep.

After some time, he didn't know how long; in his dark world there were no trivialities like time, a scent reached him. The scent of stale air. It didn't bother him, though, so he simply slept on.

The beeps suddenly grew stronger, and was no longer a soft echo within him. They soon started to annoy him, and he started to wish that he could hold his ears and block the sound out.

His body, which had been floating on nothing, suddenly felt heavy. It was like someone had striped several weights on his limbs. The weights drew him downwards, and the darkness started to dissipate from raven black to dark grey, lighting by the minute.

He fought against it; he wanted to stay in the nothingness where nothing reached him. Stay where the world and the truth didn't matter.

Feelings suddenly reached him; fear and uncertainty. He didn't want it. He wanted to remain aloof, and never have to feel again.

He fought even more to stay in the darkness, but it seemed like the more he fought, the faster he fell.

After having fallen for a while, other things started to reached him. Images and colours floated through his sight, but so far away and blurry that he couldn't make them out. Not like he wanted to; he wanted to come back to the nothingness. But the weight on him was stronger than his will.

Then, he stopped falling.

Steady beeps were now heard just next to him. He felt something soft underneath him; a bed he realized. The air was still stale around him. Something rested gently over his mouth and nose, and soft puffs of air hit his dry lips, that were half open.

A thought reached him. _"Who am I?" _

The answer was immediate. _"I am Ryou Bakura. I'm sixteen years old. I used to live in England, and then me and my father moved to Japan after my mother died. I live in Domino, in a large house with my father. Father is in Egypt, digging after treasures." _

Ryou felt every breath he took. It hurt to breath, he noted; his lungs ached terribly. His entire body ached, actually. Especially his head and lungs. His stomach was empty, but he wasn't hungry. Actually, it felt like he didn't need to eat ever again. His mouth was terribly dry. He was thirsty. And the stale air didn't help that fact at all. But he just couldn't get rid of the air.

A new question reached him. _"Where am I?" _

This time, he wasn't provided with any answer.

Ryou tried to open his eyes. All he managed was to make his eyelids flutter slightly. They were heavy, and so was his head. And the rest of his body felt paralysed.

"_Am I dying?" _Ryou asked himself.

"_No"_, he then answered himself immediately. _"I'm starting to live again." _

Seeing that Ryou couldn't open his eyes, he thought it best to continue sleeping for another little while. Everything around him started to fade; the sounds, the feelings, emotions…

He fell back into darkness and the nothingness. He barely noticed it when the beeping became distant again. Soft clouds seemed to surround him, and protected him. Once again, everything slipped away and he became happily unknowing about everything.

This time, however, the serene nothingness didn't last for more than a few minutes. He fell back down into his body again, and felt everything again.

The pain from his head, and lungs. The small puffs of stale air against his lips. Soft cascades of hair that rested around his face. And the soft bed underneath him. But everything wasn't the same.

Before, Ryou could just barely make out the feel of fabric against his skin; now he felt it all. The soft clothes that rested against his skin, the sheets that were quite stiff beneath his unmoving fingers. And the plastic cup that rested on the area around his mouth and nose.

Ryou started to slowly open his eyes again. And this time he managed to open them half way. He saw a glimpse of a white ceiling above him, before his eyes fell together again. Even such a small action made him feel dreadfully tired…

Anger started to boil within him; anger over his own weakness. He wanted to open his eyes, and he would. No weakness or fatigue could stop him...

It was like something within his head burst, and he was thrown out of his body again, back into the nothingness. But this time, Ryou fought against the pull. And it worked. He was back before he knew it. Fighting the darkness was much easier than fighting the light.

Again, Ryou opened his eyes half way. The ceiling was still there; white and stale. Bright light from a lamp made him close his eyes briefly again.

The question he had asked himself earlier came back again; _"Where am I?" _

"_A hospital." _The soft beeps told Ryou that he was in a hospital, and had a machine stuck to him. Probably something that had helped him breath properly. But why would he need something to breath?

It all came back to him in one, giant wave of memories. The way Bakura had spoken to him, and slapped him. Saying that he was worthless. Breaking his heart once and for all.

The sleeping pills in his pocket. _Heaven._

The school bathroom. _Empty. Deserted. _

The sleeping pills. _White, the colour of innocence. _

When he took the pills and swallowed over half the tin. _Tasteless death. _

The spinning of the room, and then...nothing. After the pills, Ryou remembered nothing. _Darkness. _

Ryou's heart started to ache. _"Why didn't I die? What happened? Did someone save me? But...who would..."_

"About time you woke up."

Ryou flinched at the rough voice that was very familiar, and turned his head to the side to see the one that had spoken.

Bakura sat next to the bed, on an uncomfortable looking chair. His already spiky hair was messy, and hung around his tanned face, that for the moment was quite pale. He looked thin and worn, and the clothes hung slightly on his body.

The brown eyes, however, had not changed since Ryou last saw them. They were cold, and void of emotions, though black circles surrounded them. Bakura looked almost dead.

Was it Bakura who had found him? Seen him so desperately vulnerable…weak…just as he had always said.

Shame flooded Ryou, and he looked away. "I'm sorry..." He whispered, so softly that it was almost not heard.

A snort was heard from the man next to him.

"Sorry? For what? For trying to kill yourself?" Bakura's voice was cold and hard, making Ryou shiver in slight fear.

"No..." Ryou smiled sadly, and shook his head slightly. "...for not succeeding."

Only one second after the answer was out, Bakura was up on his feet. He grabbed Ryou's chin and pulled his face to himself. The brown eyes now glowed with anger, making Ryou cower slightly. That look, Ryou recognized as the one always followed by a thorough beating.

"Don't you _ever_ say something like that again, Ryou." Bakura hissed, and then released his chin to sit down again.

Ryou blinked. The grip Bakura had had on his chin still hurt slightly; a dull ache compared to the sharp pain in his chest. "Bakura..."

"Why, Ryou?" Bakura suddenly asked, interrupting Ryou in mid sentence. He glared at the boy on the bed. "That's all I want to know. Why did you do something so fucking stupid like trying to kill yourself?!"

In his heart, Ryou felt a sting of pain at Bakura's harsh words. Nothing had changed...Bakura still hated him, still thought of him as useless. Maybe even more so now, after not even being able to kill himself properly. Ryou looked away again, and blinked away the tears that had started to form in his eyes.

"I...I thought..." The smaller boy bit his lip and whispered. "I thought you'd be happy..."

Silence followed his words for a minute.

Then Bakura exploded.

"Happy?!" He roared, and flew up once again. This time, he grabbed Ryou's shoulders and pulled him up so he sat, face turned towards him. "You think that your death would bring me happiness?! Ra, Ryou, you are more stupid than I thought!" Bakura kept screaming at him, and shook his shoulders to make sure that Ryou understood how serious he was.

Ryou whimpered at the pain in his shoulders, and the over-extension on his body. "B-Bakura, p-please..." A wave of dizziness hit Ryou, and black dots started to dance across his eyes. He closed his eyes tightly to rid himself of them, but they remained even under his eyelids.

"Please...stop..." The darkness, the nothingness, started to pull on him again, and surround him. And he couldn't fight against it...didn't want to fight against it…wouldn't…

Bakura, however, didn't notice the struggle going on inside Ryou. Nor did he notice how empty the boy's eyes were starting to become, or how his body started to slump in his hold.

What he did notice was when the door was slammed open, and a doctor grabbed him and roughly ripped his hands away from Ryou's thin shoulders. Ryou fell limply back on the pillows and his eyes fell closed again.

The doctor, a strong and usually calm brunet named Li, shoved Bakura away from Ryou and sat down on the side of the bed. He got out a small flashlight, opened one of Ryou's eyelids, and shone into the revealed eye. The pupil didn't constrict, and Li groaned. Then he pulled back the oxygen mask over Ryou's mouth and nose. He turned to Bakura, who still sat on the floor.

Green eyes flashed dangerously at him. Li looked absolutely furious; not a usual expression for him.

"That was absolutely the last straw, Bakura! I have had patience with you, and your rude behaviour towards my staff. But this!" He gestured to the unconscious boy on the bed. "Attacking my patients! Ryou had just woken up from his coma, and you might have tossed him right back into it! Two weeks, I must say, is enough of a coma for one person!"

Bakura glared at the doctor, and got up from the floor. "It wasn't my fault he got into the first one, Li! That, he caused all by himself! How could you give him sleeping pills, if there was a risk of him trying to kill himself! If I hadn't been in school that day, he could have been dead!"

"I told you about the risks of giving Ryou sleeping pills." Li said, suddenly calm. "I _told_ you he was fragile, and I _told_ you he was depressed. _And_ I _told_ you to go easy on him, and not say or do anything that could upset him, or make him depressed. Obviously, you didn't follow my orders. What exactly did you do?" The doctor crossed his arms over his white clad chest, waiting for an answer.

A flash of guilt ran through Bakura's eyes, and he sat down on a chair. Suddenly, he didn't look half as cocky as he usually did, and his shoulders slumped slightly.

"I...I think I might have...hinted that I wouldn't mind if he disappeared..." He swallowed the lump that suddenly had formed in his throat.

That day, when he slapped Ryou, was still very clear in his mind. The hurt expression in Ryou's eyes, and the way Ryou had told him to kill him...God, why hadn't he caught on?! It was really…all his fault…

For the first time in 5000 years, Bakura actually felt guilty.

A deep sigh brought Bakura back to reality, making him look up. Li held one hand over his eyes, lightly pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You damned moron." Was all Li said, before turning back to Ryou on the bed. "Next time he wakes up, if he does, you had better be gentle towards him, Bakura. If not, I'll throw you out. With my foot in your ass as a souvenir." And Li left, after checking the values on Ryou.

Bakura sighed, and looked back at the unconscious on the bed. Ryou's face was so pale that it matched with his long, silver hair perfectly. The brown eyes, that Bakura had longed to see in two weeks, were now closed again and didn't make any signs of opening again.

Why had he done that to Ryou? Right when he opened his eyes, and looked up at the ceiling, Bakura's heart had almost stopped. The brown eyes that had looked confused, and unfocused until they closed again. When Bakura understood that Ryou had finally woken up from his coma, he had been the happiest person alive. And how did he show that? By yelling at Ryou again, and sending him back into the coma. What a great person he was...

With another sigh, Bakura took Ryou's hand in his. It was pale, and almost disappeared in his tanned one. It was heartbreakingly cold. He caressed it's backside with his thumb, and looked at Ryou's calm face.

"Wake up soon, damn you." He muttered lowly. "I want to apologize as soon as possible, so I can get back to my life again."

-------

Dark. It was dark again.

Silence. Not a single sound interrupted his sleep.

Safe. No harm could reach him in the darkness's fathom.

Relaxed. Everything was serene within him.

Then, the pull came again. It had come and gone a few times, but he had managed to fight it off. He had tried to keep it away; he wanted to stay. Fighting against the pull, it disappeared the next second.

Then, it came back, twice as strong. And this time, he could not fight it.

Ryou felt it all again; the pain, and the soft bed underneath him. He heard the beeps from the machine next to him.

Back again.

But it was different somehow.

A light pressure was added to his hand; a pressure that made him feel weird. It was warm...and...safe, somehow. Even safer than the silent darkness. Gentle strokes played on the back of his hand, and also on his palm, tickling slightly. Slowly, Ryou moved his hand, and squeezed the warmth gently in response.

The movements haltered altogether, and Ryou felt a stab in his heart. He wanted it to continue, to chase away that lingering fear from his heart.

"Ryou? Are you awake?" A low and hesitant voice asked.

"...y...yes..." Ryou whispered, and slowly opened his eyes again to look up into a pair of dark brown ones.

Bakura looked at him silently, not revealing one emotion, and then moved his gaze to the side. It unnerved Ryou, and he fidgeted slightly. What would Bakura do now? Would he yell at him again, call him an idiot? Hit him? Ryou mentally cringed at that thought.

"...Ryou?" Bakura suddenly muttered, not once shifting his gaze.

Hearing his name spoken in a gentle question, made Ryou shiver slightly. "Y-Yes? W-What is it, B-Bakura?" He stuttered, closing his eyes. Here it came, he would get yelled at now...

"...Imsorry."

"...huh?" Ryou said, blinking once. The quickly muttered sentence hadn't made any sense to him at all.

At once, Bakura's head snapped up, and he glared forcefully at him. "You seriously need me to say that again?! It's hard enough as it is, you know!"

Ryou flinched and tried to shift away from the seemingly furious spirit. But, seeing that he was too weak, he stayed in the same spot as earlier. Fear entered his eyes, and he whimpered slightly, afraid that Bakura would hurt him again.

A regretful look entered Bakura's eyes, and he reached out for Ryou's face. "Oh, crap...no, no, **no**, it wasn't supposed to sound like that...fuck, I have no idea of what I'm saying..." Bakura sighed. "Look, Ryou..." Gently, he touched Ryou's cheek.

When Ryou flinched and tensed at his touch, Bakura pulled back his hand again, a flash of hurt passing through his eyes. "Ryou, I was saying...that...I'm sorry." The last part was said quietly, but still audible for Ryou.

Surprise was clearly evident in Ryou's brown eyes. "Y...You're...sorry? F-For what?"

"For what?!" Bakura snorted angrily. "What kind of a question is that? I'm sorry for everything I've done to you ever since I met you. I'm sorry for all the times I've hurt you, intentionally and not. Okay? Isn't that enough?" He huffed, and crossed his arms. And…was that a pout?

Ryou blinked. Then, a smile graced his lips; the first true smile that had graced his lips in many years.

"...thank you, Bakura." It was no more than a weak whisper, but it still made Bakura's heart warm up.

"...b-but...I...I don't know if I can...f-forgive you...just yet." That, however, made Bakura's heart stop.

"W-What?!" He rose so quickly that the chair he sat on fell over behind him. The glare he sent in Ryou's way was so heated that it could have set the room aflame. Bakura's entire body shook with barely restrained emotions.

Ryou flinched, and cowered back into his pillow. For a moment, he was sure that Bakura was going to hit him. He was positive.

The angry moment only lasted for a few seconds.

Bakura fell to his knees by Ryou's bed, and then rested his head against the madras. His whole body shivered slightly, as if hit by a chilling gust of wind.

"...why not?" The question was slightly muffled by the covers that Bakura had against his face, but still so piercingly clear in the all too silent room.

With a sigh, Ryou looked at Bakura with saddened eyes.

"You hurt me, Bakura. Very, very much. You have made me cry more times than I can count, and you have hit me too...though, that didn't hurt much...compared to those words you said to me...that day...a-and I don't think I can forgive you that easily-" He didn't get any further.

Bakura flew up from his kneeling position, and suddenly sat on top of Ryou, not touching him at all. He was straddling his waist without touching him, one knee on each side of the thin body. His hands rested beside Ryou's head, and his face was only one inch from Ryou's.

"Then tell me...how can I make you forgive me, my light?" Bakura whispered softly, his breath ghosting over Ryou's face. His eyes was filled with determination, but also a pleading look. "Just tell me how. I can make it."

Ryou felt fear once again bloom within him, and he shivered slightly underneath Bakura. "I...I don't know..."

He had to move. If Bakura didn't get off him…Ryou was sure he'd start crying. Bakura sitting on top of him made so many bad memories replay within his mind; all of the beatings, all of that mental abuse he had put him through…he had to move!

Ryou released a small, pained whimper between his tightly pressed together lips.

At seeing the fear in Ryou's eyes, Bakura frowned. "What if I promise...promise to never hurt you again? That I always will be careful." Gently, Bakura caressed Ryou's cheek. "See...I can do that..."

"Bakura..." Ryou whispered, and shook slightly. It was uncomfortable for him to get touched...it was too soon. But, the gentleness of Bakura, the rare emotional caring he was showing right now...Ryou didn't want it to end, he wanted the light touch to remain for eternity, and beyond. But…

"...please, stop."

…he couldn't let it.

Hurt entered Bakura's eyes, and he slowly pulled back his hand from Ryou's cheek. His body shivered slightly, and he took long, deep breaths. A sudden revelation filled his mind, and Bakura slowly raised his eyes to meet Ryou's.

"...Ryou, would you be happy if I left you?" The question was spoken softly, hesitatingly. "…because, I can do that. If you want."

Ryou was silent for a few moments. Then he closed his eyes tightly, tears escaping the corners of them. He shook his head violently. "...no…I want you to stay, Bakura…but... at the same time…I do want to be alone…just for a little while..."

Silence rested over the room for a few seconds, minus the machines beeping on next to them. Then the shuffling sheets was heard, and weight left the bed.

"Alright...I'll leave…so, uh...bye then." Close to silent steps. A door opening and closing quietly. Then only silence and buzzing machines.

It wasn't until ten seconds later Ryou opened his eyes. They were filled with tears, that prayed to be let out.

The room was empty. Bakura had indeed left.

It was for the best. Ryou knew this. And it didn't have to be forever. He knew that too. But that didn't make the pain in his heart less, and it didn't make the feeling of loneliness any less bitter.

If it had been a fairytale, and he had been a fairytale princess, he knew that he would have let Bakura stay, no matter how much he had hurt him. Bakura would have carried him away to a white horse, and they would have ridden away into the sunset. They would have been living together forever, happily ever after.

But this wasn't a fairytale. This was real life. And in real life, there were no easy, fluffy happy-endings. There would not be a forever, or happily ever after. Because that was not how the world worked.

With time, maybe the suffocating fear of Bakura would lessen in his heart enough for him not to flinch away when he was touched. Maybe he would be able to let the former Tomb Robber back into his life. Or maybe, he would simply forget Bakura, and move on to someone less dangerous.

A soft snort escaped Ryou at that last thought. There would never be anyone else in his heart. No one could ever replace Bakura. Because Bakura would always be his most precious person.

"I guess it's true what they say…" Ryou whispered into the night. "…it's always the ones we love that hurts us the most…"

Large, wet tears rolled down his cheeks, and Ryou bit his lower lip to keep the sobs in.

It didn't help.

**The End**

…okay, I guess all Tendershipping fangirls wants to kill me right now. But let me explain myself first!

You see, I've read too many BxR angst fics that contains Bakura hurting Ryou, Ryou trying to kill himself, and Bakura instantly falling in love, confessing that fact and the two of them lives happily ever after. For once, I wanted to write something that ends differently.

Because…well, Bakura has hurt Ryou a lot. He has scared him, done horrible things to him, and, in my fic at least, beat him. I don't think that one tiny confession would make Ryou go all heart eyed, and jump into his arms to forgive him.

No, forgiveness is something you earn with time and patience, not something you can get instantly. And that, I guess, is the main thing I'm trying to prove in this fic.

…yeah, that was a lot of explaining. And I'm sure all fangirls still wants to kill me. 

Well, for future fics, I think I'll stay put with humour. Because writing angst is, to quote the true words of Shikamaru, troublesome.

So yeah. Feel free to review, people! I am dying to know what you all thought of this fic! (if you ask nicely, I might even write a small, fluffy epilogue! )

So…thanks all of you who have reviewed so far! I love you all to death and beyond!

-The Blonde Midget


End file.
